So I’ve been thinking about my moral compass, and I think the biggest horrible thing that happened to me in early life was that I was taught by many and varied peeps not to have any solid understanding of lying by omission.
I’m fixing that so I can be a confidently authentic and not-backwards-lying person. They were some gnarly, misguided degenerates, all those folks. Here is some story.
A Waiting Game
Moffer Bones stomped over to grab me, and I’m sure he was planning to half pick me up and force me to walk out of his house. I was planning on coming right back if he magicked me away like he’d done before.
I mean, my game plan was to persistently haunt Moffer Bones until I had all the answers I needed about how to protect my wings and what was going on with the Queen, so I was not particularly concerned about him hefting me about and dropping me off outside the woods.
I was actually (ahem) looking forward to the manhandling parts, because it would be, like, the third time I’d been touched by another person. (So far all my touching had come from Moffer Bones, and I was not complaining at all. He was so flipping hot.)
So anyway, he stomps over to my chair and bends a little, getting ready to grab me around my upper arms, and I was sitting there in my gorgeous hoodie and jeans. I wasn’t doing anything, but when Moffer was about three inches away from touching me, he froze and his eyes got all tense.
“Stop doing that,” he says.
I had no idea what he was talking about. I was just sitting there, but he made this irritated, snarly face and started to get really flushed.
“Don’t,” Moffer Bones said, and his voice, I am bound by an allegiance to the truth to state, was obviously aroused.
I thought he was trying to play a trick on me, so I smiled at him in a blithe way, and Moffer Bones made this angry, hissing kind of noise, stepped away from me, and stalked deeper into his house. I think he went into his bedroom and slammed the door, because there was a big banging sound, and then I got up and went over to shut his front door, because I didn’t want any fauna or strangers to come poking into his house just because he’d left his front door ajar. You know, because he’d opened the door prior to throwing me out, but then he did this whole song and dance about how he wouldn’t touch me.
I figured my not-talking strategy had been serving me pretty well up to this point, so after I shut the door I went back to the chair and just sat and waited.
I’ll skip all the boring parts, but I was there for a long time. After hours had passed—and night had fallen outside. I mean, it was in the depths of the night when this next part happened. I don’t want you to envision the sun just having gone down or something, because it hadn’t. This was late, what I’m about to tell you next.
Hours have passed, right? And Moffer Bones, after all this time, comes striding out of his room, still blushing, and he settles on the couch across from me, and he glares at me for a while.
Then he says, “Will one kid do it? I could maybe compromise and give you one kid.”
He looked so serious. I was sitting there, still keeping my mouth shut and my face neutral, but inside my heart I was like . . . ‘What? What, now?‘
I mean, it sounded like he was offering to give me a kid. Like, you know, that we would have a kid together, which was about the weirdest thing he could have said. I didn’t even know this guy, and he’s all, ‘I’ll impregnate you if you go away!’ Like, what a strange dude, right? He seemed really serious about it, too.
You’re reading Victor Poole, and in my current novel, someone just had a visit with a dentist (who is also a gangster!). You can get my latest book here.