(If you recall, our rebel fairy had to play tour guide to some grumpy trolls and the Queen Mother gave her permission to wear one (1!) item of human clothing with her regular fairy outfit. Also, our fairy found some scuzzy pink children’s boots and is trying to decide if she wants to put them on . . . because they’re ugly, but still boots, ya know.)
An Unexpected Message
*more time passes*
Well, I burned the boots. They were just too ugly, and it was making me feel trapped and depressed to even look at them, so I burned them, and now I’ve been on the lookout for abandoned clothing in the woods. I found some ratty panties (no thank you!) and a really hideous green sweater that’s mostly encrusted with vomit (also NO, ew!), and I just feel . . . lost.
I just have to wait, you know? The trolls are gone, thank goodness, and I need everything to go back to normal so I can start all over on my plan! Just a few more weeks, and the other fairies will forget all about me being scared of trolls (which I’m not, my gosh!!), and then I’ll start up again with the overbearing cheerfulness. As soon as I get the others freaked out with my out-of-character sunny behavior, I’ll go and see Moffer Bones. I’ve never actually met him in person before, but I’ve heard he’s really scary. He lives aaaaall the way on the edge of the woods, over near the swampy pond.
So right now it’s just slogging through the days, sewing my gol-durned outfits out of leaves and keeping an eye out for fallen footwear. Man, if I could just stumble on another pair of boxers, or a really nice set of tennis shoes, even!
I know, right?! My standards are really falling here, because I’m desperate. Just a few more weeks, though.
*two days later*
OMG, you will never believe what happened today. So I’m going about my business, being my usual glum but very capable fairy self, and I’ve just enchanted a couple of squirrels to be goo-goo over each other and make a family, right?! And I’m feeling pretty good about myself and thinking about how someday it will be me making the smooshy-goo faces at some wonderful human. Sigh.
And then, out of nowhere, I get a magical missive. (That’s like a fairy way of sending messages, okay?) And it pops up next to me and informs me that the Queen Mother would like to see me right away.
Inside I’m like, oh, GREAT, she’s going to tell me that I can’t actually wear human clothes after all. Yerg. I still haven’t found anything to wear, but the fact that I can is helping a lot, right? Yeah, so I was pretty sure she was going to nix that whole idea when I got in to see her, so I was steaming mad as I set off! You’ll never believe what she said to me, either.
You’re looking at Victor Poole, and in my current book, somebody is about to go and see their father, who has been held prisoner by an evil lady for many years.