Three Pieces Of Bad Advice Everybody Gives About Relationship Dynamics: Part 3

Part three of the interesting internal dynamics of a few closed relational systems.

Yesterday we talked about the reformation of abusers, and the day before we talked about the love-hate trope. Today we are approaching this writing-shtick:

  1. Economic hardships will be solved through determination and solo effort, after which, the effort-producer will be rewarded by a stable romantic relationship.

This is a common thing in stories; some poor yuck is struggling financially, and he buckles to and, using the power of his mind, and deep effort, makes money. Once he has overcome poverty and gained a stable life, he finds the reward of love.

This is not really what happens in the transition from poverty to financial success. Either the yuck becomes so internally focused and driven that he creates a closed system (which is successful, but completely thrown off by the addition of new players in the form of romantic partners), or the yuck is taken up by a support-person who fosters a team effort towards success.

Economic productivity is often fostered between two persons; one is the goer-out and doer of the financial gain-making, and the other is the, for lack of a better term, efficient Baxter, or support person and tea-maker.

A person who has achieved financial productivity often has enormous difficulty achieving relational success without destroying their already-established hum and balance of money-making activity.

Bad Writing:

Henry, as he drove his gleaming vehicle down the avenue, caught a glimpse of a fringe of white, and a pair of flashing heels.

Henry’s heart unloosed a thrum of satisfaction. Now, he thought, there was time for love. I’ll go out tomorrow, when I leave the office, Henry assured himself. I’ll go out, and I’ll find a woman.

Henry smiled; the packet of bills in his wallet made a satisfactory weight in his pocket.

The next night, in the glow of the electric lights from the bar, Henry gazed adoringly at the face of Fanny, who he had met just five minutes before. Now, Henry told himself, I have everything in life.

Good Writing:

Henry hesitated at the door of the restaurant. Three women were sitting together at the bar; they had brilliantly-colored hair, and their dresses glittered in the electric lights.

Henry turned around, and went home. The next morning, Gladys, his secretary, overheard his sigh, and she appeared efficiently at his desk.

“Mr. Green,” Gladys murmured. Henry caught himself from engaging in a second sigh, and looked up.

“Yes, Gladys?” he asked. He could not keep the owlish sorrow out of his eyes.

“I’m having dinner at eight tonight, at the Viper Club,” Gladys said, in the tone of one delivering a monogram. Henry blinked, and stared at Gladys, who regarded him coolly. She raised an eyebrow. Henry blushed.

“Thank you, Gladys,” Henry said. Her heels clicked like tidy soldiers as she returned to her seat in the outer room. Henry’s whole form relaxed in a tremulous sigh. Gladys, he thought, was quite pretty.

People who have achieved economic success have done so with a support team; if they do not marry within that support team, they have great difficulty maintaining their economic activity. Don’t drop a bomb of love unrealistically into the lap of a person who has not adjusted to emotional giving.