A Couple Of Techniques For Writers That Are So Easy, It Feels Like Cheating

Pretend that your emotions and energy are money.

Now pretend that you have “bills” that you have to pay, such as going to work, spending the time to buy groceries, cleaning your house, and sleeping.

Make a budget for your emotion/energy matrix.

Like, for example, I clean my bathroom every week. So cleaning the bathroom is something that is on my radar near the end of the week, and I save enough energy/life to get that done.

Now, a lot of us go through life spraying out energy and emotion willy nilly, like one of those strange money-blowing boxes that banks put outside to get new customers to sign up. Anyone and anything that passes you by can snatch up all of your money (in this case, your time and energy).

If you make a budget of your emotions and energy, and set aside of piece of yourself to work on your writing, you will not feel so spent and angry.

So here you are:

1.How much time do you already spend thinking about your novel? Write down a number. Now take half of that number, and spend that many minutes typing your novel every day. Note: do not spend this time staring at the screen; spend this time with your fingers tapping usefully on the keyboard.

2. Imagine yourself making a wonderful red box of glowing hot metal. The box is made of metal, and the metal is so hot that anything touching against the metal burns up in acrid smoke almost instantly. Now, every time through the day that you hear yourself thinking to yourself, “Gee, if I was not such a wastrel, I would have finished my novel by now,” put that thought, like a twist of old newspaper, into your hot box, and watch it burst into satisfying flame. See how many negative thoughts you can burn by the end of the day.

There you go. Two pro-tips. Bonus points if you save enough energy for a five minute nap after your typing time.


Some Suggestions For Lazy Writers

When you are staring down at your document at 6:07 AM, and berating yourself softly, do this:

Take a deep breath.

Make sure your cursor is in the right place (at the end of the current document).

Imagine what you would like to be writing about, if only you were better at writing already, and had explained everything so the reader would get it, and if only you had all the time in the world to explain this cool thing you want to write.

Have you got a clear picture of the thing that you can’t write about, but would like to?

Now close your eyes.

And let your fingertips fill in that picture.

It doesn’t matter if you explain it perfectly the first time. It doesn’t matter if you can’t tell the reader everything all at once.

Just start in one corner of that scintillating scene, and describe one part of it. Then, maybe the part next to it. And so on, ad infinitum.

And . . . go.