7 Green Aliens That Will Destroy Your Bad Dreams

Well, guys, it’s super hard to develop boundaries when you’re already deeply established in a non-boundarized life. But hey, the extraterrestrials will help!

  1. The first green alien reminds us that we’ll be dead in seventy years, and life is short, so improve boundaries now, because once you’re dead, your energy signatures are set, and you don’t really want to be enmeshed with darkness when your soul crystalizes.
  2. The second green alien tells us that emotions are ephemeral, and heavily influenced by perception. Since we can control much of our thought process, we can shape our perceptions, which means we can influence the flow and depth of our emotional experience. Therefore, the second green alien says, improve your emotional life.
  3. The third green alien wants everyone to get along, and humanity makes him tired, so he doesn’t say anything at all.
  4. The fourth green alien thinks food fixes all problems, so he offers you some fresh xxutynthio from his home world. You decline, because it smells like hairy eyeball juice. But you thank him anyway.
  5. The fifth green alien didn’t get to the ship on time, so he sends his friends a thought message, and they tell you that you should sing a song about crying clouds. You suspect that something was lost in the thought transfer, but you’re on your best behavior, so you nod politely.
  6. The sixth alien has been secretly planning a planet-wide attack, so he kills the other aliens and latches his fingers into your sternum. He injects you with a subcutaneous mind-control ooze, and you become his slave.
  7. The seventh alien is dead, but she suspected the sixth alien of plotting something fishy, so her spirit energy explodes your new master’s head, and you are released from his power.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, you are no longer wholly human, so you set out on a life-long journey to assassinate evil black energy clouds that you find hanging around on the different continents. Along the way, you develop a taste for fresh seaweed and starlight.

Happy writing, people.