I had gotten into a really good groove.
I’ve been letting my daily quota go quite a bit in the last few days, because pretty much everything in my life is in upheaval. Some moving stuff happened, and a new job happened.
I don’t know. I could be pushing myself harder on meeting my quotas, but I am tired of constantly trying to prove myself to anyone.
I said before that I read some assertiveness training materials.
The materials said that I have the right to judge my own feelings and thoughts, and that I don’t have to justify my emotions or actions to anyone.
I am so, so tired of feeling scrutinized all the time. I’m tired of scrutinizing myself on behalf of my parents. I’m tired of trying to earn the right to breathe.
I have a minimum quota of 2,000 words. I like to check off tasks for my writing on the Habitica website every day. I have probably eight or nine things, and I’m checking them all off. I’m keeping up with everything, I’m just not pushing myself to such awesome heights right now. I feel used up on the inside.
I want to find some new kind of consistency in my inner state. I want to have a nicer normal.
I’ve been doing bodyweight exercises for months; I’m starting to get arm muscles, which is novel.
Gosh. Anyway. Happy Friday, people.